We can’t help but check out what the Rich Kids of Instagram/Snapchat do for the holiday season. Except for them, it’s always holiday season. We love to hate them. Cue the jealousy-tinged exclamations of “Whatever,” “Oh my god” and “Phfft, seriously?” Especially in response to their obnoxious-as-hell captions like “What is a weekend? Have fun going to work tomorrow” and “Stop being poor.”
For a split second, imagine what it would be like to have so much damn money that you’re regularly lounging on a multi-million dollar yacht in St. Tropez like it’s no big deal, without a care in the world other than which one of your 36 Rolex’s you’re going to wear to brunch on which you’ll probably drop $30 grand.
Yes, it’s a tempting lifestyle but I personally prefer having a soul. That isn’t to say that all wealthy people don’t have souls, but rather that these kids are spoiled AF and the way in which they flaunt their “riches” only demonstrates how callous they seem.
As Louis CK says, “There’s no way someone who is raised rich, is not going to be a piece of sh*t human being.”
I mean, imagine what they would say upon hearing that I got toothpaste, Kleenex and cough drops for Christmas—things I’m actually quite happy with, being the practical person that I am. The RKOI would keel over laughing and likely set a wad of hundreds on fire, just ’cause.
Having said that, I still get sucked into viewing their lives, clicking through each image highlighting their indulgent and pampered lifestyle with a complicated mix of envy and abhorrence.
So I put together a list of what these wealthy a**holes do for the holidays. You may be surprised just how far back in your head your eyes can roll.
1. Christmas shopping in the McLaren.
2. Lounging in opulent rooms reminiscent of the library in Beauty and the Beast.
3. What else? Vacationing in St. Tropez.
4. Drinking champagne infront of a massive pile of expensive gifts.
5. Spending Christmas on a yacht.
6. Getting away with saying sh*t like this.
7. Spending time in the Four Seasons Paris as “punishment.”
8. Touring the city on Christmas Eve by personal helicopter.
9. Buying countless bags for…themselves, most likely.
10. Paddleboarding in the Pacific Ocean.
11. Taking the private jet home, of course.
12. Making sure to only bring the essentials home for the holidays.
13. And lastly, acknowledging their good fortune this season…on a condom wrapper.
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