13 Of The Craziest, Funniest Walmart Stories To Make You Cringe

Craziest, Funniest Walmart Stories

Photo: Pinterest

Walmart seems to bring out a special kind of stupid in some people. I’m sure everyone has at least one “only at Walmart” story.

I used to work there during high school—I’ve seen and dealt with my fair share of crazies. And rudeness. And just general what-the-f*ckness.

One time, while working in the shoe department, I had a man ask to see ladies’ high heels. Fully aware that men shop for their wives/girlfriends/mothers/daughters, this wasn’t the issue. Things started to get a little weird after he asked to try them on…again, to each his or her own. But, things got really f*cking uncomfortable and creepy after he leaned in close and asked me if they’d be good for “stomping on men’s genitals.” Ya. I muttered something about not really knowing anything about that and promptly GTFO of there.

And it only gets worse if you’re (un)fortunate enough to step through the doors after 10PM, or on a jam-packed weekend. That’s when the true crazies come out and the most omg-worthy stories are experienced.

I took to Reddit to put together a list of the weirdest/craziest/funniest Walmart stories for your amusement; if you have your own, please feel free to share in the comments!

1. To be fair, Walmart can be described as a zoo.

2. Cutting oneself, and others, for a phone. Sounds about right in this day and age.

3. Like Ted from How I Met Your Mother, some people need to understand the mystery of the pineapple. 

cheesecake-gnome on Reddit:

I worked at Walmart last year as a cashier, and a woman came up to my register with nothing but a pineapple, and a damaged one at that. it was 10pm on a Tuesday, so it was a slow night, and she demanded I give her this pineapple for 25 cents because it was damaged. I didn’t see any damage, so I asked he to show me the damage. She promptly ripped the top greens off the pineapple, and said “See it now?” I called my manager over and he said he can’t sell it to her for a discount, and he’s sorry, but she can get another one. She cursed, threw the pineapple at me, and walked out mumbling about needing a cigarette. She was a prime example of trailer trash, but damn she threw that pineapple hard.

4. Those damn shampoo bottles need to learn to behave!

5. Some people have a lot of nerve. And no shame.

6. Because $1 off makes all the difference.

7. Seems like whoever let it go wasn’t holding anything hostage anymore.

8. DEFINITELY only at Walmart.

9. Seriously, this “policy” is why people continue to do the shit that they do.

10. No words.

11. Walmart still refunds everyone.

12. Clearly, this guy had a handle on things.

mrsheikh on Reddit:
This was back in the late ’90s. I was working at Wal-Mart as my first job as a teenager. I was floated to the garden department one day and there was a guy looking at lawn fertilizer. I walked over and asked if he needs help, he said “Not now, just looking at the different kinds you have.” Pretty standard reply from the guy, so I said “Okay, let me know.” I walk away, and then swing back about 5 minutes later. Same guy has proceeded to rip open about 10 different kinds of the fertilizer all over the ground and is rolling around in the stuff. He is also taste sampling the stuff. I called my manger because I did not want to deal with it. Security escorted the guy out the store and called an ambulance in case the ingestion of the fertilizer hurt him.

13. Some just know how to haggle.

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